kreepykritter13 (kreepykritter13) wrote,

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Things have been different since the last time I wrote in this thing. School is looking up. My Geography class is getting better, mainly because he said that no one will fail. I have a gurantee in a sense but that takes too long to explain. Paintint is overly frustrating but I think it will get better, if I just work with it instead of against it. Art history history. It's not hard and it's interesting to me so I think it will be alright. I'm actually thinking of changing my major to Art History but I have to talk with my advisor first. Library Skills is a bogus class, due to the self-explanatory material but eh. And then there is problem there. So yeah I guess I should be happy because classes are fairly tolerable and I'm liking them for the most part.

My parents come up this weekend for a day:tomorrow. I'm glad I get to see them. I miss them so much, more than I'd care to admit. I haven't seen my Dad in a long time. I'm looking forward to spending time with them and going home the 29th so I can see my brother, my sister my nephews and nieces and my boyfriend. James has been working at UPS and seems to enjoy it so I'm happy for him. I miss him and hope that he will come to see me as soon as possible. Nothing feels the same without him. I'm questioning myself, my friends, my aspirations, everything. When I'm with him I never do that. I always feel secure and believe in myself and what I'm doing here. Now I'm not so sure what to think, or do for that matter. I'm just whining, I know but I've gone so long with listening to other people's shit and putting my own problems aside that I'm sick of it. Call me a bad person, call me selfish even, fuck you I don't care.

I just feel lost, that's all. Lost beyond a shadow of a doubt. I wonder what good I'm doing being here. I wish I could be more like my mother. She is always caring of others but finds the medium where she knows how to take care of herself too. God I am a dork.
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